Are You Weaponising Feedback? - Be kind, not clever

In communication and feedback, a troubling trend seems to persist—one where cleverness often overshadows honesty, and constructive criticism is weaponised in the pursuit of perceived leadership prowess. I've far too frequently found myself engaged in conversations with clients and former colleagues echoing a common sentiment: the need for open and honest communication. The era of calculated language, the infamous "sh!t sandwich" approach, and attempts to weaponise feedback have tarnished our view of leadership. It's time to strip away the facade and embrace a culture of transparency, where honesty prevails over cleverness.

The Sh!t Sandwich

Words like "calculated" have infiltrated our feedback landscape, describing a strategy where critiques are carefully crafted to manipulate the desired outcome. The old-school tactic of wrapping negative feedback between two layers of positivity—the sh!t sandwich—continues to persist, leaving a bad taste in the mouths of those on the receiving end. This approach may seem clever, but it ultimately undermines trust and diminishes your credibility as a leader.

The truth is, there's nothing clever about weaponising feedback. It creates an atmosphere of distrust and hinders the collaborative spirit necessary for growth and team health. Leaders who resort to manipulation find themselves isolated, facing resistance and mistrust rather than cooperation.

Open and Honest

The antidote to this toxicity is refreshingly simple: open and honest communication. It's about being truthful with the issues as you perceive them, without the need for calculated manipulation to soften the blow. A genuine leader doesn't shy away from acknowledging problems; instead, they confront challenges head-on, fostering an environment where transparency is the norm.

Being open and honest also means avoiding a rigid attachment to one's own perspective. A considerate leader is open to diverse viewpoints and recognises the value of different experiences and insights. This stance encourages collaboration, innovation, and a richer understanding of the challenges at hand.

Considered, not Calculated

Considered, not calculated. That's the mantra for leaders prioritising authenticity. Instead of plotting how to frame feedback cleverly, focus on genuinely understanding the issue and expressing it in a way that resonates with your team. This approach fosters trust and cultivates an environment where team members feel secure sharing their perspectives without fear of retribution.

And let's address the notorious sh!t sandwich. It doesn't work. This outdated technique may momentarily mask the negative feedback, but it doesn't fool anyone. Your team is smarter than that. Instead of relying on gimmicks, be better, be braver. Care genuinely about your people because they deserve a leader who respects their intelligence and values open communication.

They deserve better

The path to effective leadership lies in the simplicity of open and honest communication. Leave behind the crutch of cleverness and embrace authenticity. Consider the impact of your words, but let them be guided by genuine concern for the growth and well-being of your team. Your people deserve more than a leader who tries to be clever—they deserve a leader who values them enough to be open, honest, and, above all, authentic.